Sleepless Night

It is early morning and I cannot sleep but I found the cute idea above on real simple's website. Hopefully soon I will fall right off to sleep. :)

Safe Journey

Armando,

Have a safe journey to Chile!

I will miss you but have a great

visit with your family and friends!

Row Row Row Your Boat

Wherever the heck you want to!

When life is not taking you in the direction that you need to go and when things are not healthy, it is time to change directions. This past few weeks have been stormy for me with many ups and downs and in betweens.

I quit a job for the first time in my life. I am always hard on myself and I felt bad because I quit. I think sometimes I am my own worst enemy when it comes to my high expectations. I think all the close people around me were suffering because I was suffering and they knew it and I would not allow myself to admit deep down to the fact that things were not getting any better at the workplace, just more pressurized, negative and stressful. I was trying to stick with it for a year, just long enough to change departments but it just became too much. I couldn't handle it any longer and had gone to my limit.

My attitude changed the other night when I had a talk with my Father. He mentioned, if you knew you were going to die at midnight... Would you still be feeling this way? Of course I said No! He was right. I needed to stop focusing on the past and enjoy my right now!!!

I am relieved now and am just taking a little breather before looking for a better opportunity.

P.S. I designed a new banner for the blog with Armando's help. Do you like it? It has a feather on it that I found at Lake Guntersville.

Obstacles

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

-Michael Jordan

Wishing you a

The warmth and love he offers.

It is such a beautiful blessing in this world when you are with someone who offers you warmth and love constantly. Somebody that you can lean on in any situation and that will be with you through the struggles and help to uplift you during the rougher times. But also, a partner that shares in your joys and accomplishments with as much pleasure and glee as you revel in during those happy times.

The help he gives me on a daily basis is more than I can really tell you or name off. It goes from helping me to have a great start to my day every morning and always meeting me at work and opening the front doors for me, which are too heavy for me to handle and maneuver, (me and my wheelchair) to ironing my shirts and clothes unexpectedly, and even reminding me to take my medicine which I forget often at night. He even writes loving messages in my calendar that I use at work; his little notes inspire me and make me smile. He is always watching over me like a guardian angel. Wrapping the covers around me gently during those cold winter nights, letting me use his chest as my pillow, those little things make me feel so secure. I am thankful for all of the things he does to help me and the support he offers me. I feel blessed and warm inside every day because I know I have him in my life.

Sometimes I get stressed at work and become very uptight. I can be a perfectionist and that makes me feel pressure. He always gives me pep talks and makes me repeat that I am good at my job and positive things before work. He makes me laugh and encourages me when I put too much pressure on myself. He lightens situations up and helps make me laugh when I need it the most.

He has also introduced me to so many new things that I never knew before I met him. Sushi, Japanese Horror Movies, Chobits, SpongeBob Squarepants, Miyazaki's movies like Spirited Away, Pablo Neruda, Piscola, George Orwell, Role Playing Games...I could go on.

I feel lighthearted more than ever before because I allow myself to watch the cartoons that during my childhood were never watched because of serious illness. I love reverting to childhood sometimes and getting lost in movies and cartoons!

So, this is a little thanks for you my love. Thanks for the warmth and love you show me everyday. Thanks for all that you do today and every day. Thanks for introducing me to so many interesting and fun things. You make my world a happier place.

Here's wishing a great start for a Happy New Year where our plans come into fruition and we can look forward to a bright new life as husband and wife this upcoming year!

So Little Time So Much More To Explore!

States I have visited:

Countries I have visited:

 

What places have you visited? Where would you like to visit? To make your own visited maps, Go here

Lunchtime Pal

Today while Armando and I were pulled over beside a wooded area to eat lunch while on break from work, we were joined by the most adorable lunchtime pal. I had to make sure it was not one of my cats because it had such a big resemblance to my cat named Mocha. (The only thing was, this cat had a tail and Mocha has a tiny, tiny bobtail)

After some envious glances from our lunchtime pal, we gave in and gave her the rest of our lunches. Take a look at the cutie below, Wouldn't you have handed over your lunch too?

Four Day Holiday Weekend!

I was off work Thursday and Friday and I had such a nice and relaxing four day holiday. One thing I felt bad about this Thanksgiving was not being able to help Mom with the Thanksgiving dinner as much as I always do. I had to work Wednesday until 5:30 and I came home and helped her after work but she had cooked so many desserts and had most everything done. I woke up early Thanksgiving to help her. I think I gained some weight this Thanksgiving. I love pumpkin pie and ham and turkey. It sure was delicious!

This evening Armando and I went to look at a few stores. I got an electronic game for my Aunt who will be having another kidney transplant in the near future. I work all week and won't be able to go visit her except on weekends since she is having the transplant at a city not so close to home. I hate that she is going to be staying for four weeks by herself and everybody is going to be working. I am just on my first 90 days at work, so I cannot take off at all, until next year sometimes. I am trying to put together some fun things to keep her occupied while she is in the hospital. Does anybody have any good ideas?

Armando bought me a 80 GB hard drive and installed it. I love it! I feel like I have a new computer. My other hard drive was getting pretty full. I cleaned it up Friday and organized things into folders and placed them on the new hard drive. Then Armando formatted the old hard drive for me. My computer is running a lot smoother.

Before I got this new job, I had decided I would make a blog using html. Each time I posted in the last blog, I had to use HTML to do my entries. I liked being able to use creativity and put things together but I realized later that I did not really have as much time to devote to doing everything HTML. So I just changed back to a template. I am using the Windows Live Writer to publish my entries and it is easier.

Well, I have rambled enough. I really hope you enjoyed your holiday weekend as much as I did!

Learning Flexibility

If you were to look back upon your life and then trace the different pathways that your life has taken through different eras, it is an interesting journey. Isn't it? I was actually thinking about that subject this evening.

I am a planner and usually try to pre-plan for things in life by working toward goals, etc. But, there have been many things that happened in my life that I never could have pre-planned for or even imagined for that matter. Those things ended up playing big parts in my life. Some actually ended up being great blessings in my life!

I guess that is why it is always good to not be a "slave" to your plan but a "master" and remain flexible enough to chart a different course when necessary. It has taken me a while to realize that. I am not always the easiest person to get to change directions when I have my mind set on something. Sometimes it is easy to be blinded when you are focusing on a plan or goal and you tend to lose sight of the fact that sometimes your pre-set destination may not always be the best one for you in the long run! I guess it is called experience and learning flexibility.

Friday Night

November 18, 2006

After getting off work, Armando and I went to eat sushi at Miyako Japanese Restaurant. The sushi was delicious but the restaurant was so busy that it took us quite a while to get sushi. We ate soup while waiting. It was a nice treat. I have been so tired after work that we haven’t went anywhere the past few weeks but I felt good Friday evening.

Afterwards, we went to a Tattoo place and got prices on a new tattoo that Armando would like to get. He wants to find his own design first and then get it done. Right next door to the tattoo store was a "Naughty store" and I couldn't help laughing at some of the shoes on display in the window and outfits. They had some sparkly red Dorothy in the wizard of Oz shoes with huge heels! Hehehe They were hilarious. I wish I had thought to snap a picture of them to show.

Later, we bought a few Christmas gifts. We needed to get them soon to send a package off to Chile before the deadline. Right now, I still have no idea when the Christmas deadline is for mailing packages overseas but hopefully it will be ok. Then, we looked at Best Buy and went to Barnes and Nobles bookstore. I fell asleep on the way home and woke up a few minutes before we turned into the driveway!

At a few stores we looked at the Sansa mp3 player that Armando has been telling me about. I like it a lot. It is really nice because you can watch windows media player videos on it and listen to mp3's. I have wanted something to listen to music at my desk at work when the phone calls slow down. They don't usually slow down that much but now and then they do and it makes me feel happy to listen to some good music lightly during those times I am doing paperwork and orders, etc. Armando has been a sweetheart and allowing me to take his palm to work and listen to music. My palm doesn't have a speaker or way to listen to music.

I have been thinking about that little Sansa too much since we saw it. It sure is cool. Well, we will see...

Sorry I have not posted in so long. I've been at the new job three weeks and everybody tells me it will take me six months to feel comfortable. I am starting to believe them! The new job is stressful and there are many things to learn. I use a lot of programs every day and this is a whole new field for me. The last few weeks have been rough for me and I have been tired and just have not felt like doing much else besides resting when I get home. I worked overtime several days also. I think this job is always going to be stressful because you have many angry customers calling and yelling at you, etc and then you have a lot of multi-tasking to do and you absolutely have to be organized. I have had to learn to not take those customers personally. I am normally a sensitive person so that has been a learning experience.

I have heard a lot of stories about this new job from my co-workers. I've heard that they have a high turnover rate and many people take anti-depressants etc. I am trying to keep positive and motivate myself and find healthy ways to deal with the stress. I don't want to work at a job that makes me be on anti-depressants. If it gets to that point, I will be looking for a new job.

Sleeping Kitten

October 15, 2005

One of the kittens asleep today.

Our Story Part 2

October 14, 2006

One fun part of our long distance relationship was sending letters and packages back and forth. He would send me Chilean (cafe) coffee, candy, and all kinds of fun things. One package he sent me a bottle of Chilean wine and a book by my favorite author and a natural quartz crystal from the mountains in Chile. Nobody had ever sent me a bottle of wine before or cared enough to even remember what my favorite author was... Another very special gift was an alpaca poncho to keep me warm in the winter. I always get cold in the winter. One year for Christmas he surprised me and sent me a digital camera! The dial had broke on my digital camera.

His first visit:

I arrived before dark in the early morning hours at Atlanta International Airport in Georgia to pick A up on his first trip to Alabama. I did a bit of worrying and some frantic rounds around the airport before I finally saw him. He explained later what had happened. He was actually put in the security orange room because when they asked him his return flight date he honestly could not remember the actual date. Welcome to the USA via the orange security room, right?

He had mistakenly got his Mom's tickets to Argentina instead of his own return flight tickets. Imagine A's surprise when he reaches in his bag to show them his tickets and they are his Mom's tickets instead. (Mierda!) He was honest with them and after some verification they let him through.

We stayed busy going places the whole time he was here. We had a lot of fun and sadly, the time flew by. We took a trip to Biloxi, Mississippi (before the hurricane did so much damage there.) We gambled and got free drinks, had lazy sleep in mornings and enjoyed the view of the sandy beaches and water. He was so caring and loving and he made me laugh a lot. I was on cloud nine!

My sister gave me an early birthday gift of a hotel room for Armando and I in Birmingham. That was so sweet of her and her husband. We got a bottle of Chilean wine and sushi and just relaxed. Later we went to the Science Museum with my sister and niece and nephew. We also went to the Birmingham zoo. We both love animals so it was fun.

On the day A had to return to Chile, I tried hard to be strong and not show sadness but I found myself tearing up on the drive to the airport. I was going to miss him a lot. On the drive back to Alabama, I cried and got upset and then resolved to try and be strong and focus on the day he was to return to live here.

Our plan was for him to return to Chile and finish his classes so he could get his degree and then he would move here and I needed to find a job that had health insurance. We knew it would take some time for us to go through the immigration process and marry but the most important thing was the love that we have for each other. We can work through the rest.

Our Story Part 1

October 12, 2006

If you had told me five years ago that I would be in a relationship with a man like A, I would not have believed it to be true.

The oddest thing about our story is the way we met. I had put a message on a message board asking for help to learn Spanish and in return, I would help teach somebody English. He responded.

Actually, I needed more help with my Spanish than he did with his English. He had already lived in Boston as a boy with a family as an exchange student. He did not know much English at that time and he had to learn by being thrown into the environment. I only helped him a little with some pronunciation and he has had to teach me everything, the alphabet, pronunciation, verbs. He is still teaching me Spanish.

Over time we started talking, sending a lot of emails, having long chat sessions, telephone conversations, and then later web camera and chat sessions. We learned a lot about each other. I liked him more and more. There was something about the way he viewed the world. He opened me up to new ideas and made me realize that the distance between us didn't matter, as long as we loved each other and stayed devoted and kept contact as much as we could.

At that time, he lived in Chile and I lived here in Alabama. We both enjoyed photography so we shared our days through pictures. I showed him where I lived, special people in my life, with pictures and with little videos. He did the same for me. I saw the beauty of Chile in his pictures and I felt very close to him when I looked at his pictures.

One of my favorite things for him to do was to set up his web camera and notebook and take it out to the back terrace and show me the parrots in the trees, the flowers, and his dogs. Of course, I loved seeing him too, any chance I got! I liked his smile and to hear his laughter.

No matter how much I heard people talk around me that he was in another country, how could we love each other? I just ignored them because I knew in my heart, that I couldn't have loved him more, even if he had been right here in Alabama. That love grew and when we did meet in person, we hit it off perfectly, just as we always had by telephone, by internet chats and webcam sessions.

I have to admit, the first time I met him, I was so nervous! I had all of these concerns which proved to be just a bad case of the nerves. I remember telling my sister on the telephone, What if he does not like me as much as he thinks he does after he gets here? All I can say is I was excited but also, thinking of a million things that might go wrong. Well, I WAS WRONG! Thank goodness!

The day I met A for the first time was also the same day my nephew was born. What a happy day it was, meeting the man I love for the first time and seeing my newborn nephew!

To be continued...

New Blog Format

I am in the process of re-organizing my blog.

The blog will stay at the same address, I am just changing the blog into a different format to make things easier once I get it set up!

I am re-posting some old entries into the new format.

15 year old life lessons

Before being placed in an acute care unit with coma patients, I had never been exposed to coma patients before. I was fifteen years old. I was there because I needed critical care and this was the only unit in the Rehabilitation hospital that provided critical care.

I have to admit at first I was very scared by everything. I cried a lot because I was young and just realizing that my situation was permanent and I was in a rehab hospital several hours away from my home and not allowed to have visitors at all for a few weeks. The hospital called it an “adjustment period” but it felt like punishment because I was used to my Mom visiting me every day and to be cut off from her and my family for a few weeks was very difficult and being in a new place surrounded by new people… I was so lonely and sad and scared. Of course I adjusted in time and realized that I had to work very hard to get out of this place and to get my life back. (I did not realize at the time that it would be two years I had to stay at that rehab hospital!)

In retrospect I think that was probably the best place for me to be at the time to adjust to being a newly paralyzed person because I saw people around me who had lost everything and I was so focused on them and their families that being a new paraplegic seemed minor in comparison.

You come into all kinds of situations in life and you learn from them. You learn that
you are really blessed every day that you can breathe and talk and express yourself.

Carlton

I remember when I saw him
For the very first time
His hair was golden like sunlight

He had chubby angelic cheeks
With a rounded little chin
He looked so perfect when he grinned

I remember seeing his family
They came to the hospital often to visit
The nurses said he was in a bad accident

Somehow he had fell into a pool
Something had gone wrong
Had been underwater too long

Had lost too much oxygen
It caused him to go into a coma
His brain was damaged then

I remember I was so sad for this family
I knew they must be heartbroken
To see their little angel looking perfect
Yet, unconscious and in coma

His sister was just a little girl
I would entertain her so her parents could visit their baby
I really tried to help the little girl be more relaxed

Later, I read books to little Carlton
They said it might be good for him
I don’t know if he heard me...
but there was always a chance

I wanted to make it all better, take away the unhappiness
It just seemed such a tragedy to see so much sadness
I would have fixed this with a solution if I had it

It was so sad the night little Carlton “coded”
The nurses rushed around and I was so distressed that night
He was just a baby and was not supposed to die

Sometimes life hands you hardest lessons in life
You have to learn to value each moment
Because tragedy can strike at any time

-----

There were other young children like Carlton.

There was Chris who came out of his coma but was never the same again. He called me on the telephone after returning home to Tennessee but all he could say was "hamburger, hamburger".

There was a little blonde haired child named Stacy. There was a little Canadian boy named Andrew. There was the young man who got shot... There was the girl with dark hair who I have forgotten her name but will always remember her face. There were so many young children in comas.

I won’t ever forget that time in my life. It was a turning point for me. I gained a lot of inner strength and I learned many life lessons that are still with me today. I met some wonderful people at that hospital that helped me including a doctor and physical therapist who are dear friends today.

-Michelle

Being Thankful

- 2005 -

To touch upon the beauty of this world
To live, breathe and hold it for a moment
Was to make my life like a symphony
Each day filled with new peaks
Now to escape the despair of absence
Since your beauty is not near
Biding my time until you reappear.

I just came across these writings today. I wrote them when Armando and I were living in separate countries. Long distance relationship's are difficult but well worth it if you can have perseverance.

I am thankful that our love was strong enough to carry us through those times when we were so far apart. I cannot tell you how happy I am to have Armando here with me now and to be able to share every day together!

-Michelle

Reflexion: Dos semanas en Chile

It was a lot of fun to see part of Chile. I enjoyed meeting Armando's family and friends. They were very welcoming to me.

Armando's Mom was a total sweetheart. She taught me to knit while I was there despite the language barrier. I like to crochet already but knitting is fun too. (Although, I still need a lot of practice yet!)

Because of the change of weather, I got sick while there and was sick a good bit of the time with a bad cold. Armando also got sick with a bad cold before we left. That was a bummer but we still did fun things like playing games. We often played poker with his friends until the wee hours of the morning! Or magic card games or the ship game. Don't you just hate it when you are on vacation and you get sick?

Armando and I lost our jackets at the Miami airport. Oops! I bought another one in Chile and thank goodness, Armando had another jacket in his luggage.
Armando's Mother's house was great. I liked her yard. It had trees and flowers and a gorgeous water fountain made from quartz.

She had beautiful rocks and crystals and little sitting areas that were so inviting. When you entered into her house, you were met with this trees right beside the door that were so tall and growing in an indoor brick container. Her roof is part glass and wood and the trees were nearly touching it. The glass from the roof let in such a beautiful light to her living room. Her house is so in touch with nature. She has bonsai trees and rocks and a shell collection and a horse collection. I loved it. In the hallway, I got to see great photos of Armando and his sister as children and picture of his Mom. I saw a picture of his sister with white doves on each shoulder. My favorite picture was of Armando's Mom and his Dad in the background and Armando as a little boy in the front standing by a tree. He was so cute. :) I liked a picture of Armando's Mother sitting on a big rock surrounded by water. She looked so pretty in that picture.

In Chile, it is very common to have wine with your meals or pisco sour (a Chilean drink with pisco and lemon). I liked the pisco sour and the piscola (pisco with coca-cola or “coca”as coca-cola is called in Chile) and I enjoyed Chilean wine too. The fresh bread there was delicious. Armando's Mom was a great cook. I was SO happy to see avocado or “palta” so readily available. I love avocado and I ate it a lot while in Chile in salads and on bread. Yum!

I was so happy to see the snow capped mountains of Santiago. I had seen so many photographs of the mountains and Chile that it really was great to actually be seeing those in person. I liked how when we stepped into his Mom's yard we were met with a view of the mountains every morning. I liked how the evening light made the snow on the mountains take on a golden hue.

When you go to downtown Santiago there was great architecture everywhere. The churches and many of the buildings were so ornate!

We met with Armando's best friend, Carolina in Viña and Valparaiso. I was so happy to finally meet her. I had spoke with her on the telephone and chatted with her on the internet before. She is a very sweet lady and with the prettiest long flowing hair. We had a very good visit and her and Armando showed me Viña and Valparaiso and the surroundings.

In the city of Viña, I felt very peaceful with seeing the sea and the water hitting against the rocks. The sound was completely relaxing and the atmosphere in Viña (in the winter at least) is very at ease. You see people going on horse drawn carriage rides everywhere. I understand that in the summer it is a different scene with many tourists coming from Argentina and of course other parts of Chile to enjoy the beaches and sea.

Valparaiso was so charming with the mountains covered with homes and the view down below of the sea. I really liked the bright colors of the houses and the little winding streets that went up and down, up and down. I also enjoyed the murals painted on walls. There is a University in Valparaiso that is extremely beautiful. It looks very British and is complete with stone walls and many steps.

In the part of Chile we were in, (Central Chile) you are surrounded by big palm trees, there were orange trees that grow in the winter and there were a lot of avocado trees. On the way to Viña I saw many vineyards.

Chile is a very long country so the country is very diverse. Part of the country is desert and dry, in one part you can see ice glaciers. I only visited a few cities and I was sick part of the time so I know I only saw the surface of a very beautiful country. I am glad I had the chance to go with Armando and to meet his family and friends. I look forward to another visit and seeing more of Chile in the future!

I included a few pictures in that we took.

-Michelle

Blooming Beauty

When we opened the curtains from our room in Chile, we were met by this magnificent blooming almond tree that is in Armando’s Mom’s back garden. I had never seen an almond tree before. I was captivated by the beauty of its blooms.

Before the almonds are ready for harvest, the wild parrots eat them all and have a feast.

Armando took some photos of the almond tree before we left which I have shared above. I like the photo he captured with the bee especially!

Miami video

Our flight over Miami, Florida.

You can double click on the video after it starts if you want to switch to full screen.

Enjoy!